So after patiently waiting, keeping the plant watered, and protecting it from freezes, it finally flowered and fruited for me this year. I had read that that the fruit could taste very unpleasant if picked before completely ripe, so I waited to taste the fruit until one was nice and bright red, felt soft to the touch, and pulled away easily from the plant. I took a delicate test bite and was shocked. The fruit tasted absolutely terrible, tart, acidic, and resinous. The only thing I can think to compare it to is an unripe astringent persimmon, but with acidity of a sour lemon instead of the tannic pucker. I thought that perhaps that fruit had not been completely ripe, so I waited and waited for another fruit to fully ripen.
Finally, a darker-red fruit fell from the bush. It was very soft, and I thought for sure that this one would be better, but I was disappointed. While this fallen fruit was much less acidic and resinous than the first one I tried, it still tasted awful, and I don't think the fruit has the potential to get any better. The darker red to purple varieties are hard to find and reportedly better tasting, but based on how bad my red variety tasted, I'm not inclined to invest my money and time to grow one. Since I my family and I can't eat the fruit, I'm going to just get rid of the plant and replace it with something else. You can't win them all I guess.